Those of you who were becoming regular readers of this site will know that thebeautyobsession.com has been going for just over three and a half months now, and you might also have noticed that it’s gone a little quiet recently. There are few reasons for this, and I wanted to tell you about them….
Firstly, yes, that’s right – I want to tell you about them. Not we. I’m Sheona and I write thebeautyobsession (that’s me in the thumbnail pic). More on the first/third person differences later. I thought I’d start by telling you how this site came about. On the 31st October 2012 my Grandma died after a difficult three week period in hospital. My Grandma was a very special lady and someone that I admired a lot. I definitely didn’t tell her that enough before she died, but I did. Anyway, no one close to me has ever died before, I’m lucky enough to have got to the age of twenty five without experiencing loss, not even the passing of a beloved family pet. I’m very aware of how lucky that makes me, however it meant that the weeks when Grandma was poorly were incredibly difficult, and when she died I struggled to know how to cope. Not throw yourself in front of a bus wailing kind of not coping, but not being able to sleep for days at a time, a strange inability to concentrate on anything at all and not very pleasant flashbacks and daydreams etc. In the weeks she was in hospital, I spent many an hour surfing the net when I couldn’t sleep, and discovered a world I actually never knew existed – blogging!
I literally had no idea that there were so many people who were obsessed with so many things, from beauty and fashion to travel and food, and that they’d been writing away for years on their favourite topics. I quickly found myself sucked in and trying to absorb as many of them as possible, they were a brilliant distraction from my ceiling at 4am!
Two days after my Grandma died I was at my Grandparents home with my Grandad and out of nowhere, I decided I was going to write about what I wanted to. Indulge my beauty and makeup passion if you like. It sounds strange, but I started writing that night and I literally couldn’t stop! I set up thebeautyobsession.com domain name that night (2nd Nov 2012) and for the next three months I wrote, and wrote and wrote! When I couldn’t sleep I would write, when I was upset I would write and when I couldn’t concentrate on something else I should have been doing, I wrote then too. I worked every spare hour I had on setting up the new WordPress.org site and getting the site just how I wanted it. I wrote mailers to brands I was passionate about to tell them about the site, and I ensured that the related social media feeds were updated all the time.
I very quickly became obsessed with the site stats. And by obsessed, I really do mean obsessed! I would check them maybe eight, nine, ten times a day. To be honest part of it was because I was so shocked about what was happening. I’d read so many posts from people who said their blogs were going for months before anyone other than their Mum read it, and I really hadn’t expected anything different. Except other people were reading it, a good two to three hundred a day within the first few weeks of being set up. Those are definitely not taking over the world stats, and the leading bloggers will attract over a hundred times that amount, however for me it was a revelation. It was so exciting to think that people wanted to read what I was talking about, that I carried on, and over the last three and a half months I am really pleased to say those stats have risen and are something I’m incredibly proud of.
However, something has happened in the last few weeks and I’ve been struggling to put my finger on it. It’s like I’ve hit a wall. A big, giant, six meter thick, concrete wall. I haven’t wanted to write for weeks, and I have an overwhelming sense of guilt about it. I know that people read the site, and I feel I should be posting every day, or indeed several times a day like I was until fairly recently. So is it that although I still think about my Grandma every day and miss her terribly, that because the initial months of insomnia and inability to cope have slightly worn off I’ve lost that drive that started me off? Is it because I put so much time and effort into setting up the new site, that now it’s done actually filling it with content seems quite daunting?
Both of those are definitely part of the reason why writing has become difficult, but I think there are a few other factors in play too. Although the stats became fascinating very quickly, they also became an incredible pressure point for me. If one day had less visitors or views than the day before, I’d feel like I’d failed or that my posts weren’t as good. Also, on days when I legitimately couldn’t post because of work or other commitments, I felt so guilty as I mentioned. Whereas if I hadn’t been looking at the stats, I probably wouldn’t have thought about it.
The other reason is definitely down to product reviews and prioritsing. I am incredibly lucky enough to have begun receiving product samples quite quickly after the site started, I don’t want to dwell on that point, as I know that it’s something discussed regularly in the blogging world and can be a touchy subject. I just want to say that it’s not the reason I started the site, I didn’t even think for one second that any brand or PR company would be interested in my opinions and reviews, however suprising it turns out that some were. Now I find myself in a situation where if I don’t write for a while I also have to deal with the guilt over the samples I’ve been sent. Not because they’ll all get a good review, because trust me that’s not the case, but because I feel like if I have been sent a product it should without a doubt be featured one way or another.
All of these reasons have combined to create the giant wall I talked about earlier, and I’ve decided that nothing less than drastic action is called for! Drama Queen, Moi? In all seriousness, I love this site and I love writing, but I feel like if I don’t do something, it will dwindle off before it’s begun properly – and I don’t intend to let that happen. So let’s call this a rebrand, a relaunch, whatever. I’ve already written nearly 1200 words in this post (sorry, and thank you to those of you who have read this far) and it has been the easiest post I’ve written for ages. That’s because I’m writing for me, not for the stats and not because I feel like I have to.
This is Me!
When I started the site, I thought it would be an idea to write in the third person, hence the we references until this post. Partly because it is actually proven that people feel something is less biased and more inclusive when the third person is used, but also because I guess I thought that no one would actually be interested in what I, Sheona, had to say. Well guess what, the whole site has been written by me, and I guess it’s about time I just became comfortable with the fact that I have a little place on the internet and no one is going to laugh at me. Well, they might, but I will just have to not worry about it!
This has been a very self indulgent and somewhat cathartic post, so thank you very, very much for your patience if you’ve read it all. In summary, I just want to say, Hi, I’m Sheona and this is my blog; thebeautyobsession.com and I hope that you’ll come and visit again. I’ve stopped looking at the stats, in fact, I am aiming to check only once a week or so now and I can’t promise to post every day, but I do promise to write with passion and belief when I do.I’d love to hear if any other bloggers have felt like this, or if you’re not a blogger but do read the site. Please feel free to comment or tweet me, I promise I read every single one.
Thank you.
xxx
Original article: Blogging, the guilt….the wall…and the change!
©2013 The Beauty Obsession. All Rights Reserved.